Izwi Livela Lisenyameni

Okuqukethwe

Izwi Lamashumi Amane Nambili

Masinya lapho kuqala umsebenzi omusha, bonke abantu bangena kabusha, baqhubeka kanye Nami sibambene ngezandla, sihamba emgwaqweni obanzi wasembusweni sindawonye, kukhona futhi ukusondelana phakathi komuntu Nami. Ukukhombisa imizwa Yami, ukuveza isimo Sami sengqondo kumuntu, ngikhulumile njalo-njalo nomuntu. Ingxenye yala mazwi, nokho, kungenzeka ibalimaze abantu, nakuba amanye awo angase abe usizo olukhulu kubo, ngakho ngineseluleko kubantu ukuba balalelisise lokho okuvela emlonyeni Wami. Amazwi Ami angangabi ngahlabahlosile nacwengekile, kodwa ayikho konke okungamazwi aphuma phakathi enhliziyweni Yami. Ngenxa yokuthi umuntu wayengumngani Wami kwasekuqaleni, ngiqhubekile nokufeza umsebenzi Wami kumuntu, kanti umuntu, naye, wenza okusemandleni akhe ukubambisana Nami, esaba ngokujulile ukuwuphazamisa umsebenzi Wami. Kulesi sikhathi, inhliziyo Yami igcwele ukujabula, ngokuba ngitholile ingxenye yabantu, futhi ngalokho “ibhizinisi” Lami ngeke lisawa, alisewona amazwi angenalutho, “nelungelo lokumaketha” Lami alisasebenzi ngobuvila. Abantu banomqondo vele, bazimisele bonke “ukuzinikela ngokuzimisela” ngegama Lami kanye nangenkazimulo Yami, kanti ngale ndlela “ilungelo lomnyango” Wami lizuza “izimpahla” ezintsha, futhi ngalokho endaweni yomoya abaningi “abathengi” bayafika ukuzothenga “izimpahla.” Kungalesi sikhathi kuphela lapho ngithola khona inkazimulo, kungaleso sikhathi kuphela lapho amazwi akhulunywe ngumlomo Wami engabi angenalutho. Nginqobile, futhi ngibuyele ekunqobeni, futhi bonke abantu bayangibungaza. Ukukhombisa ukungithanda, ukukhombisa ukwamukela ngaphansi kwamadolo Ami, kulesi sikhathi udrako omkhulu obomvu uyafika “ukuzobungaza,” kanti ngiyakhanyizuliswa kulokhu. Kusukela ngesikhathi sokudala kuze kube namuhla, ngilwe izimpi eziningi zokunqoba, futhi ngenze izinto eziningi ezithandekayo. Abaningi abantu bake bangibungaza, bangipha udumo, bangidansela. Nakuba lezi kwakuyizikhathi ezinesiyaluyalu, futhi ezingekhohlakale, angikaze ngikuveze ukumamatheka Kwami, ngokuba kwakusafanele ukuba ngimnqobe umuntu, futhi ngangenza ingxenye yomsebenzi ofuze ukudala. Namuhla akufani nesikhathi esedlule. Nginikeza ukumamatheka esihlalweni sobukhosi, ngimqobile umuntu, futhi bonke abantu bayathoba phambi Kwami ukungidumisa. Abantu banamuhla akubona abangesikhathi esedlule. Kunini lapho umsebenzi Wami ungazange khona ube ngowesikhathi samanje? Kunini lapho ungazange khona ube ngowenkazimulo Yami? Ngenxa yekusasa okumele likhanye, ngizocacisa umsebenzi Wami wonke kumuntu izikhathi eziningi, ukuze yonke inkazimulo yami “ihlale” kumuntu, owadalwa. Ngizothatha lokhu njengesimiso somsebenzi Wami. Nina enizimisele ukubambisana Nami, phakamani nisebenze kanzima ukuze inkazimulo Yami eyengeziwe igcwalise umkhathi. Manje sekuyisikhathi sokwenza okuningi kwamathalenta omuntu. Bonke labo abangaphansi kokunakekela nokuvikela kothando Lwami banethuba lokusebenzisa amakhono abo lapha, endaweni Yami, futhi ngizongenelela kuzo zonke izinto “ukuphendula” umsebenzi wami. Izinyoni ezindiza esibhakabhakeni ziyinkazimulo Yami esibhakabhakeni, izilwandle emhlabeni zingukwenza Kwami kwasemhlabeni, ukwengameleka kwazo zonke izinto kungubukhona Bami kuzo zonke izinto, ngifaka phansi Kwami konke okukhona emhlabeni njengemali yokuphatha Kwami, ngenza zonke izinto ukuba zande, zikhule, ziqhakaze ngokwempilo.

Ngenkathi kudalwa, ngasengibekile ukuba umsebenzi Wami emhlabeni uzakube uphethekile ekupheleni kwenkathi. Ngenkathi umsebenzi Wami uphetheka kuyoba yiso leso sikhathi lapho zonke izinto engizenzayo zizakupheleliswa emkhathini. Ngizokwenza abantu emhlabeni ukuba bamukele ukwenza Kwami, futhi phambi “kwesihlalo sokwahlulela,” izenzo Zami zizakufakazelwa, ukuze zamukeleke kubantu emhlabeni jikelele, abazobe bamukele. Ngalokho, emva kwako, ngizakufinyelela esiqalweni esiyobe singakaze sifezeke ezinkathini zonke ezedlule. Kusukela namuhla kuya phambili, ngizakucacisa izenzo zami isinyathelo ngasinye, ukuze ukuhlakanipha Kwami, imimangaliso Yami, kanye nokungabi naso isikali Kwami ukuba kwamukelwe futhi kufakazelwe kuso sonke isimo somphakathi. Ikakhulukazi, ngaphambi kwazo zonke izinhlangano ezibusayo emhlabeni kuyakuba nokwamukeleka okukhulu kwezenzo Zami, ngendlela yokuthi izenzo zami zizakwahlulelwa “ngabehluleli,” ziphinde “zivikelwe ngabameli,” kuthi ngalokho izenzo Zami zamukeleke, zenze abantu ukuba bagebise amakhanda bamukele. Kusukela ngalesi sikhathi kuya phambili, izenzo zami zizakubonakala kuso sonke isimo somphakathi, kanti lesi kuyakuba yisikhathi lapho ngiyothola khona ukukhazinyuliswa emhlabeni. Kuleso sikhathi esinjalo, ngizakuvela kumuntu ngingabe ngisaba ngofihlekile. Okwamanje, izenzo zami kusafanele zifike kuvuthondaba. Umsebenzi Wami uyaqhubekela phambili, futhi lapho ufinyelela ezingeni eliphakeme kulapho uzakuphetheka khona. Ngizakunqoba ngokuphelele abantu bazo zonke izizwe, ngizakwenza izilwane ezinolaka ukuba zithambe njengamazinyane ezimvu phambi Kwami, futhi ngizokwenza udrako omkhulu obomvu ukuba athobe phambi Kwami njengabantu basemhlabeni. Ngizakwahlula zonke izitha Zami ezulwini, ngizokwenza bonke abamelene nami emhlabeni ukuba banqotshwe. Yileli isu Lami, kanye nemimangaliso yezenzo Zami. Umuntu angakwazi kuphela ukuphila ngaphansi kokuthonywa yimvelo engaphansi kokuqondiswa Yimi—akakwazi ukwenza izinqumo zakhe ngokwakhe! Ngubani ongaphunyula esandleni Sami? Ngibekile ohlangothini olulodwa imvelo yonke, ngenza ukuba ime phakathi kwemithetho, futhi kungenxa yalokhu kuphela ukuthi kukhona imithetho enjalo efana nokufudumala kwentwasahlobo kanye nokuphola kwekwindla emhlabeni. Isizathu sokuba izimbali emhlabeni zibune ebusika bese ziqhakaza ehlobo kungenxa yemimangaliso yesandla Sami, isizathu sokuthi amahansi andizele eningizimu ebusika kungenxa yokulinganisa Kwami amazinga okushisa, futhi kungalesi sizathu ukuba izilwandle zihlokome ukugwilizisa izinto ezisebusweni bazo. Yini engahleliwe Yimi? Kusukela manje kuya phambili, “umnotho wemvelo” womuntu wembozwe ngamazwi Ami ngokupheleleyo, kanti abantu abanakubususa ubukhona Bami ngenxa yobukhona “bemithetho yemvelo.” Ngubani nangelinye ilanga futhi oyakuphika ubukhona boMbusi wazo zonke izinto? Ezulwini, ngiyiNhloko, phezu kwazo zonke izinto, nginguSomandla; nakubo bonke abantu, ngiphambili. Ngubani onesibindi sokwemboza lokhu “ngopende”? Amaphutha angaphazamisa ubukhona beqiniso na? Kuleli thuba eliyingqayizivele, ngiqala futhi umsebenzi ezandleni Zami, ngibe kukho lokho ngingahlushwa ukungenelela komuntu, ngokuphendula njalo-njalo imishini.

Ngifakile “izinongo” eziningi ezahlukahlukene emazwini Ami, futhi ngalokho kungathi ngingumpheki omkhulu kubantu. Nakuba abantu bengazi ukuthi sinongo sini esifakiwe, bayakujabulela ukunambitheka; bebambe “ipuleti” bonke behogela “izidlo” engizilungisileyo. Angazi ukuthi kungasizathu sini abantu bevama ukufuna ukudla eziningi izidlo engizilungise Mina Uqobo. Kungathi bangithatha njengomuntu ophakeme, kungathi bangibona njengomuntu ophezulu, ongenandaba nabanye nakancane. Ngenxa yokuthi ngizihlonipha Mina kakhulu, angifuni ukuphahlaza “indishi yensimbi enerayisi” yabanye abantu ngezizathu zami. Ngakho, ngisebenzisa ithuba ngithi ukuhlehla ekhishini ngivumele abanye babe nethuba lokuziveza. Kungale ndlela kuphela lapho inhliziyo yami iba nokugxila khona; angifuni ukuthi abantu bangibukele phezulu bese bebukela abanye phansi, akulungile lokho. Kusiza ngani ukuba nendawo ezinhliziyweni zabantu? Ngabe ngempela nginolaka futhi angiziphethe kahle? Ngizimisele ngempela yini ukuhlala esikhundleni? Uma kunjalo, pho kungani ngiqala lowo mkhankaso? Angifisi ukuphishekela udumo kanye nengcebo ngaphezu kwabanye, ngiyalwenyanya udumo lomhlaba kanye nengcebo yawo, akukhona engikuphokophelele lokhu. Angimthathi umuntu njengesibonelo, angilwi noma ngihlwithe, kodwa ngiphila ngokuncika “ekhonweni lengikwenzayo” angizenzi nezenzo ezingenanembeza. Ngalokho, uma ngizulazula emhlabeni, ngiyenza kuqala bese ngicela “inkokhelo ngomsebenzi wezandla” kamuva—yilokhu kuphela okunobulungiswa nokunokucabangelana okukhulunywe ngumuntu, akukho okuyihaba kukho, akuncishisiwe nakancane, ngikhuluma ngibhekise emaqinisweni amadala. Ngiya le nale ngihamba phakathi kwabantu, ngithungatha labo abanobulungiswa kanye nokucabangela abanye, noma kunjalo akunamahluko. Futhi ngenxa yokuthi abantu bathanda izinto ezishibhile, inani kuphakathi kokuthi liphakeme kakhulu noma liphansi kakhulu, ngakho namanje ngisenza umsebenzi osezandleni Zami. Namuhla, angikakazi ukuthi kungani umuntu enganamatheli emsebenzini wakhe, kungani engazi ukuthi isiqu esingokomoya sakhe sikhulu kangakanani. Abantu abazi nokuthi kungamagramu ambalwa noma kungamaliyang[a] ambalwa. Ngalokho futhi, basangikhohlisa. Kungathi wonke umsebenzi Wami bewuyize, kungathi amazwi Ami awumsindo wezintaba ezinkulu, kanti akukho noyedwa oke waqonda izimpande zamazwi Ami kanye nezinto engizikhulumile. Ngaleso sizathu ngisebenzisa lokhu njengesisekelo ukubeka ngamafushane inkulumo yesithathu: Abantu abangazi, ngokuba abangiboni. Kungathi, emva kokudla amazwi Ami, abantu baphuza umuthi othile ukusiza ukugayeka kokudla, bese kuthi ngoba imiphumela engemihle yokusetshenziswa kwemithi inamandla kakhulu, balahlekelwe ukukhumbula, ngalokho amazwi Ami bese ekhohlakala, indawo engikuyo ibe yingosi abayilibalayo, bese kuthi ngalesi sizathu ngibubule. Kungani ngenze umsebenzi omkhulu kangaka, kodwa akukho bufakazi bawo kubantu? Ngabe angizange ngifake amagalelo enele? Noma mhlawumbe kungoba angizange ngazi ukuthi umuntu udingani? Ngiphelelwe yimibono kulokhu, ithuba enginalo kuphela elokukhetha ukusebenzisa imiyalelo yokuphatha kwami ukuba nginqobe abantu bonke. Ngeke ngisaba ngumama onothando, kodwa ngizophatha wonke umuntu njengobaba ononya!

uNhlaba 15, 1992

Imibhalo engezansi:

a. “i-liyang” yisinganiso sesisindo sesiShayina, i-liyang elilodwa lingamagramu angama-50.