Izwi Livela Lisenyameni

Okuqukethwe

Izwi Lamashumi Amathathu Nantathu

Endlini Yami, kwake kwaba nalabo abalidumisa ngentshiseko igama Lami elingcwele, ababesebenza bengakhathali ukuze inkazimulo Yami emhlabeni igcwale emazulwini. Ngenxa yalokhu, ngangijabule kakhulu, inhliziyo Yami yayigcwele injabulo—kodwa ubani ongasebenza esikhundleni Sami, adele ubuthongo ubusuku nemini? Isinqumo esenziwe umuntu phambi Kwami siyangijabulisa, kodwa ukudlubulunda kwakhe kungivusela intukuthelo, ngakho, ngenxa yokuthi umuntu akasoze anamathela emsebenzini wakhe, luyakhula usizi Lwami ngaye. Kungani abantu behlale behluleka ukuzinikela Kimi? Kungani behlale bezama ukuxoxisana Nami? Ingabe ngiyimenenja yesikhungo sezentengiselwano? Kungani ngikufeza ngenhliziyo yonke lokhu abantu abakufuna Kimi, kodwa engikucela kubantu kuphenduke ize? Kunzeka yini ukuthi lokho kubangelwa ukuthi ngiyantula ezindleleni zokuphatha ibhizinisi, kodwa akunjalo ngomuntu? Kungani abantu behlale bengikhohlisa ngenkulumo emnandi nekhohlisayo? Kungani abantu behlale beza bephethe “izipho,” becela indlela yokubuya? Ingabe yilokhu engikufundise abantu ukuba bakwenze? Kungani abantu benza izinto ezinjalo “ngokushesha nangaphandle kwamaphutha”? Kungani abantu behlale befuna ukungikhohlisa? Lapho ngiphakathi kwabantu, abantu bangibheka njengomuntu odaliwe; lapho ngisezulwini lesithathu, bangibheka njengoSomandla, ophethe umbuso wazo zonke izinto; lapho ngisemazulwini, bangibheka njengoMoya ogcwalisa zonke izinto. Ngamafuphi, ayikho indawo engifanele ezinhliziyweni zabantu. Kufana nokuthi ngiyisimenywa esingamenyiwe, abantu bayangizonda, ngakho lapho ngithatha ithikithi bese ngihlala phansi, bayangixosha, bathi ayikho indawo engingahlala kuyo lapha, bathi ngisendaweni engafanele, ngakho akukho okunye engingakwenza ngaphandle kokubelethwa izinyawo zami. Nginquma ukungaphinde ngixoxe nomuntu, ngoba abantu abawusabalalisi umqondo, uzwela lwabo luncane kakhulu. Ngeke ngiphinde ngidle kanye nabo etafuleni elilodwa, asikho isikhathi engizophinde ngisichithe nabo emhlabeni. Kodwa lapho ngikhuluma, abantu bayamangala, besaba ukuthi ngizohamba, ngakho balokhu “bengigadile.” Ukubona ukuzenzisa kwabo, ngokushesha kungizwisa ubuhlungu futhi kungangidangalisa enhliziyweni Yami. Abantu besaba ukuthi ngizobashiya, ngakho lapho ngihlukana nabo, izwe ngokushesha liyogcwala isililo, futhi ubuso babantu buyogobhoza izinyembezi. Ngesula izinyembezi zabo, ngibaphakamise okokugcina, bangibukisise, amehlo abo akhalela usizo abonakala engicela ukuthi ngingahambi, futhi ngenxa “yobuqotho” babo nginabo. Kodwa ubani ongaqonda ubuhlungu obusenhliziyweni Yami? Ubani obona izinto Zami ezingachazeki? Emehlweni abantu, kufana nokuthi anginayo imizwelo, ngakho besilokhu sivela emindenini emibili. Bangawubona kanjani umuzwa wosizi enhliziyweni Yami? Abantu bafuna kuphela izinjabulo zabo, futhi abanandaba nentando Yami, ngoba kuze kube manje, bebelokhu beyishaya indiva injongo yecebo Lami lokuqondisa, ngakho namuhla basanxusa buthule—futhi lokhu kunanzuzoni?

Lapho ngiphila phakathi kwabantu, ngibamba indawo ethile ezinhliziyweni zabantu; ngoba ngivelile enyameni, abantu baphila enyameni “endala,” bahlale bengiphatha ngenyama. Ngenxa yokuthi abantu banenyama kuphela, akukho okunye engingakunezela, banginike “konke abanakho.” Kodwa abazi lutho, bamane “bazinikele” phambi Kwami. Engikuvunayo kuyizibi ezingenamsebenzi—kodwa abantu abacabangi kanjalo. Lapho ngiqhathanisa “izipho” abazinike izinto Zami, abantu kaningi babona ukuba yigugu Kwami, babubona lapho kuphela ubukhulu Bami obungalinganiseki. Angiziqhenyi ngenxa yokudunyiswa yibo, kodwa ngiyaqhubeka ngivela kubantu, bonke abantu bangase bangazi ngokugcwele. Lapho ngibabonisa sonke isiqu Sami, bangibheka ngamehlo amakhulu, bame phambi Kwami banganyakazi, njengensika kasawoti. Lapho ngibona ukuba yinqaba kwabo, ngivele ngiphele yinsini. Kodwa bayeza bazobuza izinto Kimi, ngibanika izinto ezisesandleni Sami, bazibeke esifubeni sabo, bazazise njengengane esanda kuzalwa, omuzwa wabo kodwa wesikhashana. Lapho ngishintsha indawo abahlala kuyo, ngokushesha “ingane” bayijikijela kolunye uhlangothi bagijime amakhanda abo esezandleni zabo. Emehlweni abantu, ngiwusizo olutholakala noma ngasiphi isikhathi noma indawo, kufana nokuthi nginguweta oza ngokushesha lapho ebizwa. Ngakho, abantu bebehlale “bebheke” Mina, njengokungathi nginamandla angapheli okulwa nomshophi ogadla kungazelelwe, ngakho bahlale bebambe isandla Sami, bangenze “ngizulazule ezweni,” ukuze zonke izinto zibone ukuthi banaye uMbusi, ukuze angabi bikho ongalokotha abakhohlise. Kade ngawabona amaqhinga abantu kuhle “kwempungushe iphanga ubukhulu bengwe,” ngoba bonke “balengise amatshe abo ayigugu,” bafuna ukuzuza ngobuqili. Kade ngabubona ubungozi babo, amacebo ayingozi, kungenxa yalokho kuphela ngingafuni ukulimaza ubuhlobo bethu. Angiyidali inkinga ngento engekho—akukho okuyigugu noma okubalulekile kulokho. Ngimane ngenza umsebenzi ongimele ebusweni bobuthakathaka babantu; uma kungenjalo, ngiyobaphendula umlotha ngibenze bangaphinde babe khona. Kodwa umsebenzi engiwenzayo unencazelo, ngakho angimsoli kalula umuntu. Yilesi isizathu esenza abantu bahlale bekhululiwe enyameni yabo. Abayifezi intando Yami, kodwa bahlale bengikhohlisa phambi kwesihlalo Sami sokwahlulela. Abantu banesibindi kakhulu: Lapho besongelwa yizo zonke izinto ezibahluphayo, abathuthumeli nakancane. Uma kukhona amaqiniso, abakwazi ukukhuluma amaqiniso, futhi abenzi lutho kodwa baphikisana Nami ngenkani. Lapho ngibacela ukuthi bakhiphe konke okungcolile, basangibonisa izindla ezimbili ezingenalutho—futhi abanye bangahlala kanjani bangakusebenzisi lokhu “njengesiqhathaniso”? Kungenxa yokuthi ukholo lwabantu lukhulu kakhulu ngezinga lokuthi “bayancomeka.”

Umsebenzi Wami ngiwuqalile endaweni yonke; abantu kuyo yonke indawo basangulukile, wadlulela ezindaweni eziyinhloko, okuwumsebenzi Wami, futhi lapho “ngihamba” phakathi kwabo, bonke baphunyuka ekugqilazweni uSathane, futhi abahlukunyezwa usizi lukaSathane. Ngenxa yokufika kosuku Lwami, abantu bagcwele injabulo, usizi ezinhliziyweni zabo luyanyamalala, amafu endumalo esibhakabhakeni aphenduka umoya mpilo emoyeni antante khona, futhi ngalo mzuzu, ngithokozela injabulo yokuhlangana nomuntu. Izenzo zomuntu zinginika okuthile okungijabulisayo, ngakho angibe ngisaba lusizi. Futhi, ngokuhambisana nokufika kosuku Lwami, izinto ezinokuphila emhlabeni zizophinde zibe nezimpande zokuba khona kwazo, zonke izinto ezisemhlabeni zizophinde ziphile futhi, futhi zithatha Mina ngibe yisisekelo sokuba khona kwazo, ngoba ngibangela ukuba zonke izinto zikhanye ngokuphila, futhi, ngiphinde ngizenze zinyamalale kuthulekile. Ngakho, zonke izinto zilinda umyalo womlomo Wami, futhi ziyajabula ngengikushoyo nengikwenzayo. Phakathi kwazo zonke izinto, ngiPhakeme Kakhulu—kodwa ngiphinde phakathi kwabo bonke abantu, izenzo zomuntu zibonisa indalo Yami yamazulu nomhlaba. Lapho abantu bedumisa kakhulu phambi Kwami, ngiyaphakanyiswa phakathi kwazo zonke izinto, ngakho izimbali emhlabeni zimila zibe zinhle kakhulu ngaphansi kwelanga elishisayo, utshani buba luhlaza kakhulu, namafu esibhakabhakeni aba luhlaza cwe. Ngenxa yezwi Lami, abantu bagijima zonke izinkalo; namuhla ubuso babantu embusweni Wami bugcwele injabulo, nokuphila kwabo kuyakhula. Ngisebenza phakathi kwabo bonke abakhethiwe Bami, angivumi umsebenzi Wami wonakaliswe imibono yabantu, ngoba ngiwufeza mathupha umsebenzi Wami. Lapho ngisebenza, amazulu nomhlaba nakho konke okukukho kuyashintsha kwenziwe kabusha, futhi lapho ngiqeda umsebenzi Wami, umuntu uvuselelwa ngokugcwele, akabe esaphila ngosizi ngenxa yalokhu engikucelayo, ngoba umsindo wenjabulo ungazwakala emhlabeni wonke, futhi ngithatha leli thuba ukuze ngibeke phezu komuntu izibusiso engimnika zona. Lapho ngiyiNkosi yombuso, abantu bayangesaba, kodwa lapho ngiyiNkosi phakathi kwabantu, ngiphila phakathi kwabantu, abantu abajabuli Ngami, ngoba imibono yabo Ngami ibuhlungu kakhulu, ngezinga lokuthi ihlanganiswe yaqina, kungaba nzima ukuyisusa. Ngenxa yalokho okuvezwa umuntu, ngenza umsebenzi Wami, ofanele, futhi lapho ngiphakamela esibhakabhakeni ngikhulula intukuthelo Yami, imibono ehlukahlukene abantu abanayo Ngami ngokushesha iyophenduka umlotha. Ngifuna bakhulume imibono yabo eminingi Kimi, kodwa bakhexile, njengokungathi abanalutho, nanjengokungathi bathobekile. Lapho ngiphila khona emibonweni yabantu, yilapho bengithanda khona kakhulu, futhi yilapho ngiphila khona ngaphandle kwemibono yabantu, yilapho bengigwema khona, futhi banemibono eminingi Ngami, ngoba kusukela ngesikhathi ngidala umhlaba kuze kube manje, bengihlale ngiphila ngemibono yabantu. Lapho ngiza phakathi kwabantu namuhla, ngixosha yonke imibono yabantu, bese abantu bamane bayayenqaba—kodwa nginezindlela ezinhle engisebenzelana ngazo nemibono yabo. Abantu akufanele badangale noma bakhathazeke; ngizosindisa sonke isintu ngezindlela Zami, ngenze bonke abantu bangithande, ngibavumele bajabulele izibusiso Zami ezulwini.

Ngo-Ephreli 17, 1992