Njengoba uhamba indlela yanamuhla, yiluphi uhlobo lokufuna olufanele kakhulu? Ekufuneni kwakho, kufanele uzibone uyiluphi uhlobo lomuntu? Kufanele wazi ukuthi ungabhekana kanjani nakho konke okukwehlelayo namuhla, noma ngabe yizivivinyo noma ubunzima, noma ukusolwa nokuqalekiswa okunonya. Kufanele ukucabangisise kuzo zonke izimo. Ngikusholoni lokhu? Ngikusho ngoba okukwehlelayo namuhla, empeleni, kuyizivivinyo ezimfushane ezenzeka kaninginingi; mhlawumbe awuzithathi njengezinto ezikhathaza ingqondo, bese uziyeka kanjalo nje, ungazithathi njengento eyigugu ekufuneni kwakho inqubekela phambili. Waze wanganaka! Kuze kufike ezingeni lokuthi ucabanga ngaleli gugu elikhulu sengathi liyifu nje elizula phambi kwamehlo akho, futhi awuwazisi la magalelo anesihluku adamame ehlela kuwe kaningi—amagalelo amafishane, futhi abonakala ethambile kuwe—kodwa uwabuka ngokunganaki, awuwafaki enhliziyweni, uwathatha kalula njengokungqubuzeka okude kwenzeka. Uyazikhukhumeza kakhulu! Ukhombisa ukungabi nandaba nje ngalokhu kuhlaselwa okunesihluku, ukuhlasela okufana nezivunguvungu ezifika kaninginingi; ngezinye izikhathi uze umamatheke ngokungakhathazeki, ukhombisa ukungabi nandaba kuphela—ngoba awukaze ucabange ukuthi kungani ulokhu wehlelwa “yila mashwa.” Ngabe angimzweli kakhulu umuntu? Ngabe ngikuthola unephutha? Nakuba izinkinga ekucabangeni kwakho zingase zingabi zimbi njengoba ngishilo, kade usakhile isithombe sengaphakathi lakho ngendlela oziphatha ngayo ngaphandle. Akunasidingo sokuba ngikutshele ukuthi into eyodwa ecashe ekujuleni kwenhliziyo yakho wukusola okubi nezimpawu ezifiphele zosizi eziciche zingabonakali kwabanye. Ngenxa yokuthi uzwa ukuthi bekungafanele ukuba wehlelwe ukuvivinywa okunjalo, uyaqalekisa; izivivinyo zikwenza uzwe incithakalo yomhlaba, futhi ngenxa yalokhu, ugcwala usizi. Esikhundleni sokuthi ubuke la magalelo nokuqondiswa okuphindaphindekayo njengokuvikelwa okuhle kakhulu, ukubona njengenkinga engenamqondo edalwa yiZulu, noma-ke njengempindiselo efanele ephezu kwakho. Awazi lutho kakhulu! Uvalela izikhathi ezinhle ebumnyameni ngokungenaluzwelo; kaninginingi, ubona izivivinyo ezimangalisayo nokuqondiswa kuwukuhlasela okuvela ezitheni zakho. Awukwazi ukwamukela isimo sakho; ingasaphathwa eyokuzimisela ukuthi wenze lokho, ngoba awuzimisele ukuzuza lutho kulokhu kusolwa okuphindaphindayo—futhi, ngokwakho, okunonya. Awenzi mzamo wokufuna noma ukuhlola, futhi uvele uvumele okwenzekayo kwenzeke nje, uye lapho kukuholela khona. Lokho okubona kuwukusolwa okunesihluku akuyiguqulile inhliziyo yakho, futhi, akuyizuzile inhliziyo yakho; kunalokho, kukuhlaba enhliziyweni. Kuphela nje ubona lokhu “kusolwa okunonya” njengesitha sakho kulokhu kuphila, futhi awuzuze lutho. Uzibona ulunge kakhulu! Kuyethukela nje ukuthi ukholwe ukuthi wehlelwa yilokhu kuvivinywa ngoba wenyanyeka kakhulu; kunalokho, uzibona uneshwa kakhulu, futhi uthi ngihlala ngithola iphutha kuwe. Namuhla, lungakanani ulwazi onalo ngempela ngalokho engikushoyo nengikwenzayo? Ungacabangi ukuthi uphiwe ngokwemvelo, ungaphansi kancane nje kwamazulu kodwa ungaphezulu kakhulu komhlaba. Awuhlakaniphile kunabo bonke abanye abantu—futhi bekungashiwo ukuthi uyisiwula ngokuqaphelekayo kunabo bonke abanye abantu abanomqondo emhlabeni, ngoba uzibona uphakeme kakhulu, futhi awukaze uzizwe umncane; kubonakala sengathi ubona izenzo Zami zincane kakhulu. Empeleni, ungumuntu oswele umqondo kakhulu, ngoba awukwazi nhlobo engikwenzayo, ingasaphathwa eyokwazi ukuthi ngenzani manje. Kungakho ngithi awulingani ngisho nomlimi osebenza emasimini, umlimi ongenalo noluncane ulwazi ngokuphila komuntu kodwa ebe encike ezibusisweni zezulu ngenkathi elima. Awucabangisisi ngokuphila kwakho, awazi lutho ngokwaziwa, ingasaphathwa eyokuzazi wena. “Uphakeme” kakhulu! Eqinisweni, ngiyakhathazeka ngani, magcokama afefenyekayo nezintombi ezingamachoboka: Niyomelana kanjani nokugadla kwezivunguvungu ezinkulu? Amagcokama awanandaba neze nesimo azithola ekuso. Kuwo, sibonakala singelutho, asishaya indiva, awazibuki kabi izinto, futhi awazibukeli phansi; kunalokho ahamba emigwaqeni etetemuka eziphephetha umoya ngeziphephezelo. Laba bantu “abagqamile” abangazi lutho, abangafundi lutho, abazi ukuthi kungani ngisho izinto ezinjalo kubo; ubuso babo bugcwele intukuthelo, bazihlola ngokungatheni nje, bese beqhubeka kamuva ngaphandle kokuguqula izindlela zabo ezimbi; lapho sebengishiyile, babuye baqale badlebeleke emhlabeni, bacanase baqole kabusha. Ubuso babo buguquka masinyane. Ngakho, futhi, uzama ukungikhohlisa ngale ndlela—waze waba nesibindi! Zihlekisa nakakhulu lezo zintombi ezincane ezintekenteke. Lapho zizwa amazwi Ami aphuthumayo, futhi lapho zibona isimo ezikuso, kwehla izinyembezi—ezingamenyiwe—ebusweni bazo, ziyabibitheka, kube sengathi zifuna ukubukwa—kwaze kwenyanyisa! Lapho zibona isimo sazo, ziziphonsa emibhedeni yazo zilale lapho, zikhala zingaphezi, zize zicishe ziphelelwe umoya. La mazwi azikhombise ubungane nobuphansi bazo, bese zicindezelwa ukungathandi lutho, ukukhanya kucishe emehlweni azo, futhi ngaphandle kokukhononda Ngamo nokungizonda, azinyakazi nakancane ekungenzini lutho kwazo futhi, ngokufanayo, ziyehluleka ukufunda futhi zihlala zingazi lutho. Emva kokungishiya, ziyatshakadula zidlale, ukugegetheka kwazo kuzwakala “njengokweNsimbi Yenkosazane Eyisiliva.” Zaze zaba ntekenteke futhi zantula ukuzithanda! Nonke, eniyimpahla yesintu eyonakele elahliwe—nintula kakhulu ubuntu! Aniyazi indlela yokuzithanda, noma indlela yokuzivikela, aninamqondo, aniyifuni indlela eyiqiniso, anikuthandi ukukhanya okuyiqiniso, futhi, ngaphezu kwalokho, aniyazi indlela yokuzazisa. Kade nakhohlwa yizimfundiso Zami eziphindaphindwayo. Nize nizithathe njengezinto enidlala ngazo lapho ningenzi lutho, futhi nihlala nizithatha “njengomgexo wokuzivikela.” Lapho uSathane ekubeka icala, uyathandaza; lapho unesimo esiphambene, uyozela; lapho ujabulile, uyatshakadula; lapho ngikuthethisa, uyakhothama ube namahloni; futhi lapho ungishiya, uhleka njengohlanya. Esixukwini, akekho ongaphezu kwakho, kodwa awuzicabangi ungumuntu ozithwele kunabo bonke. Uhlala uphakeme, awunaki futhi uziqhenya ngendlela engachazeki. Bekungenzeka kanjani ukuthi “izinsizwa nezintombi” ezinjalo kanye “namakhosi namakhosazana” angafundi futhi ahlala engazi, bathathe amazwi Ami njengomcebo oyigugu? Manje ngizoqhubeka ngikubuze: Ufundeni nje emazwini nasemsebenzini Wami kulesi sikhathi eside kangaka? Awubanga nobuciko obukhudlwana ekukhohliseni kwakho? Awubanga nezinga eliphezudlwna enyameni yakho? Awungithathanga ngokunganaki okwengeziwe? Ngikutshela ngokuqondile: Ngenze umsebenzi omningi, kodwa wandise umdlandla kuwe, umdlandla obufana nowegundane. Ukungesaba kuncipha usuku ngosuku, ngoba nginomusa kakhulu, futhi angikaze ngijezise inyama yakho ngesihluku. Mhlawumbe, njengoba nibona, ngikhuluma amazwi anzima nje—kodwa kuvame kakhulu ukuthi nginikhombise ubuso obumamathekayo, futhi ngicishe ngingakuthethisi nhlobo bukhoma. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ngihlala ngibuxolela njalo ubuthakathaka bakho, futhi yilokhu okwenza ungiphathe njengenyoka ephatha umlimi olungileyo. Ngilithokozela kakhulu izinga eliphezulu lekhono, nokuhluzeka kwengqondo okusemandleni esintu okubuka izinto! Ake ngikutshele iqiniso elilodwa: Namuhla akusho lutho kangako ukuthi unenhliziyo enenhlonipho noma cha; Angikhathazeki futhi angihlupheki. Kodwa kufanele ngikutshele lokhu futhi: Wena, “muntu ophiwe,” ongafundi futhi ohlala engazi lutho, uyogcina uwiswe ukuhlakanipha kwakho okungenamsebenzi okunokuzithanda—uyoba yilowo oyohlupheka futhi asolwe. Ngeke ngibe yisilima kangangokuthi ngize ngikuphelezele lapho usuhlupheka esihogweni, ngoba angifani nawe. Ungakhohlwa ukuthi uyisidalwa esiqalekiswe Yimi, kodwa futhi esifundiswa sisindiswe Yimi. Awunanto Yami engingeke ngizimisele ukuhlukana nayo. Noma nini lapho ngisebenza, angivinjwa ngabantu, izigameko, noma izinto. Indlela engibuka ngayo abantu nemibono Yami ngesintu akukaze kuguquke. Angikuthandi ngokutheni, ngoba uyisijobelelo ekuphatheni Kwami, futhi akukho lutho okhetheke ngalo kunabanye abantu. Nasi iseluleko Sami kuwe: Ngazo zonke izikhathi, khumbula ukuthi awulutho olungaphezu kokuba yisidalwa sikaNkulunkulu! Ungaphila Nami, kodwa kufanele uzazi ukuthi uyini; ungazibukeli phezulu kakhulu. Ngisho noma ngingakusoli, noma ngibhekane nawe, futhi ngikubuka ngokumamatheka, lokhu akuqinisekisi ukuthi ufana Nami; kufanele wazi ukuthi ungomunye walabo abafuna iqiniso, awulona iqiniso uqobo! Akufanele uyeke ukuguquka uhambisane namazwi Ami. Awukwazi ukuphunyuka kulokhu. Ngikuyala ukuba uzame ukufunda okuthile ngalesi sikhathi esihle kakhulu, lapho kufika leli thuba elingandile. Ungangikhohlisi; angidingi ukunconywa nguwe uzama ukungikhohlisa. Lapho ungithungatha, konke akungenxa Yami, kodwa ngokokuzisiza wena!